Real Life Begins

... when you are married, have two kids? because all I can think right now how my kids going to survive in this world where peace seems to be the word that got lost in the dictionary. 

my grandma years was the start of our independence, my mom's was where everything starts to flourished and my generations is when everyone is struggling to find a place stand - populations getting bigger, the fight getting tougher. 

what will happen in the next 20 years, i just hope my kids wouldn't grow up with WWIII as their background T_T.. Nauzubillah

My survival tips in life which i've done it and already proven 100% are:

1. Always pray on time. step by step 1st. pray 5 times a day and once it is perfect then make it on time. then do the extra sunat prayer. Pray on time= Rezeki on time!

2. Gratitude towards Allah, your parents and your spouse! more gratitude=more rezeki

3. Give. even if you have little just give. you give more=you get more

4. Stay grounded and stop comparing your self. everyone has their own struggle. ( ni paling susah, when you always on social media everyday. but once and for all kena snap your mind out of it)

my strength 

10 things all single people must do

Here, we offer a checklist of experiences for single people to try before settling down.

1. Travel alone. Whether you’re trying to find your way through the Paris Metro or the London Underground, haggling over a painting in Mexico or choosing where to bed down in the Badlands, traveling by yourself builds a confidence you simply can’t get any other way. In an unfamiliar place, you have to make decisions by yourself, for yourself every day, which will build a self-reliance you’ll always treasure — even when you become part of a twosome.

**DONE- was left alone in London for 3 Days. sebab hilang passport akibat camwhore bnyk sgt.

2. Wallow in the ache of a broken heart. Oh, the pain. The agony. The pints of Ben & Jerry’s in front of the cable TV. Yep, getting dumped is beyond awful, but guess what? It’s the only way that you’ll develop the empathy you’ll need to be a better partner in a relationship. Because if you’re sensitive to the grief someone else has caused you, you’re less likely to do the same to anyone else. So, consider this painful milestone a lesson in karma that’ll serve you well as you travel through your dating days.

**hmmm..i think i cried harder when i miss my prayer compare to being dumped.

3. Spend a weekend with a married couple your age. On lonely nights, it’s common for single folk to envision marriage as a cozy scene from a classic film or mail-order catalog. But by spending 48 hours with a real couple, you’ll learn that in between the snuggling and pet names comes growling, bickering, silent treatments and maybe even a slammed door or two before they ultimately compromise. It will show you what married life is like, warts and all, so you won’t over-idealize the two-becomes-one phenomenon again.

** gilo apo nak nyebok kat newly wed house.

4. Don’t come home all night. That’s right, wild thing. Crash on a friend’s couch, take your friends up on that offer of a last-minute trip… Once you have a mate, you can’t just take off on your own without explanation. And, truthfully, you won’t want to. So if you don’t have someone you have to call and check in with every few hours, take this opportunity to check out!

**Done it zillion of times.

5. Stand up for a cause you care about. Whether you volunteer to help register voters for the next election (why not start early?) or convince your neighborhood or apartment complex to start recycling, get fired up over an issue while you have the time to devote to it. It will remind you that while, yes, finding your soul mate is pretty important, there are other issues at stake in the world that could use your help. And besides, the big-heartedness you’ll be cultivating is very attractive.

**DONE (xkan nak elaborate all the good stuff i did? habes pahala den)

6. Have a real adventure. Learn to fly a plane, surf some big waves, or start your own business. Give yourself a thrill by doing something just for you, just for the experience — without having someone at home worrying about you or nagging you not to. Oh, and one more gift with purchase: Think about how much fun you’ll have telling your next date about your daring experience.

**ALMOST DONE ( nak bungee jumping jek tggl)


7. Learn how to take care of yourself. Being solo shouldn’t keep you from cooking for yourself, so learn how to make an impressive meal for one (even if it’s mac and cheese with your own added favorite extra thrown in). While you’re at it, learn how to back up your hard drive and sew on replacement buttons. You’ll feel strong and self-sufficient — and you’ll be armed with skills to share when you are in a relationship.

**I love taking care of myself.heh

8. Buy something hugely impractical just because you love it. Once you’re in a relationship, you’ll start thinking about your partner before you purchase pricey items — not just “Will he or she hate it?” but “Is this where I want to be putting my money if we’re saving for a wedding?” The single life means a single bank account and an excuse to blow a wad of cash without (some of the) guilt. So, make yourself happy and buy something you crave, whether it’s an expensive vintage movie poster or a decked-out mountain bike.

**oh yeah... all those heels and tons of clothes. need i say more.

9. Develop a hobby. Learn to woodwork, play acoustic guitar, speak French, DJ on turntables, or make digital short films for fun. Of course you can (and should) still have hobbies when you’re dating someone, but your solo time is prime time to devote yourself to something that makes life more interesting for you — and makes you more interesting to others.

**my photog technic is improving. ah oui! Paris je taime!!

10. Be completely, utterly, wholly single for at least three months. Hopping wildly from one relationship to the next can do you a disservice. Why? Because you’re never more ripe for self-reflection than when you’re on your own — and the more you know yourself, the more likely you are to find someone who’s right for the real you.

**Like always.duh-huh


almost complete kan?? but i still want to continue doing No. 1,5,6,8,9,10. So, How?

think tank

i might not be the best person to say it right nor to judge people. but i do think, from what i've been taught, when Allah swt give us the blessing for breaking fast, it is cruel for us to neglect His order...

remember how hard it is to change yourself, think about changing other people, almost impossible.

August is a month where i likes to talk about growth. Ring a bell to those who knows ( x perlu bg reminder ye). Age is just a number. Growing old is mandatory growing up is optional. that is why a half century man can act like a boy who just hit puberty and a mother and daughter can look like sisters when out in public. nonetheless, there always a kid in everyone of us especially in having fun. imagine doing fun stuff the adults way? errrr.. A TOTAL BOREDOM! so, brings out the kid in you when having fun! baru best cenghitu..

This period in the early 20's where you already have a basic idea of who you are, what you want, though it might not be thoroughly cook, but the seeds of idea has already planted in our minds (ye mmg terpengaruh dgn Inception)... This young thoughts so to say is fresh, virgins and yet to be challenge in the real world and when challenges comes, we are force to challenge the thought.. its either change the thought or stick to it no matter what..the thought becomes a standing ego. I'm too at guilt of trying to be always right all the time. but soon I realized there is always a 2 side of everything. good and bad, right and wrong, winning and losing, it just depends on at which angle you see it.. im a bit tone down at the arguing part. kadang2 malas nak argue. arguing with a fool, there are 2 fools. let bygone be bygone.

itula die perkara yg berlaku bila menghadapi hari2 tua. LOL

While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions

have ever met someone who always stories about his misfortune? for the first few stories i would prolly be sorry for him, but once the same story has been going around your circle of friends and more and more stories of misfortune has been heard, u must be thinking, apasal la mamat ni kisah hidup pathetic gle... It seem like he has been telling the stories to everyone to gain sympathies so that everyone would feel sorry for him and would lend him a helping hand. i'm not that cold hearted person that doesn't seem to care, but as i can remember vividly in one of ceramah agama on tv, the whole world doesnt need to know about bad things that happens in your life, because this will make us weak at handling it. furthermore, Allah swt is not cruel to fall a misfortune to his creation without any reason. Andddd Allah swt wouldn't help someone who wouldn't help himself. So, if there is a continues of misfortune fell upon you, would you blame the god???

"We only send the messengers to give Glad Tidings and to give warnings: But the unbelievers dispute with vain argument, in order therewith to weaken the truth, and they treat My Signs as a jest, as also the fact that they are warned!" 018.056

Poor and content is rich, and rich enough

sunset in Keluang beach,Besut

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?

but I shall not, thou it is in God hands to do so.

The What and How

and please don't ask me why.
it just do.

for good and for worse

noBody perfect. we have a perfect human being to follow which is the prophet. i remember watching on tv, the host asked,' dont u think that to having an idealistic characteristic is somewhat dreamy and unrealistic?'; if you look it in a very secluded angle yes it is. but i suppose we do need to have such an idealistic concept of a person. so that as we grew up with life we are trying to improve to being a better person. its better die trying than escaping taking risk. lazy is what makes human stop growing with life.
yeap. the past few days i felt kinda demotivated. now, trying to cath up bit by bit. like finishing this post. took me a day. asyik kn tulis surat cinta dekat authority je..hahaha
today felt like a birthday, received unexpected gifts (lebeyh dari 1 plak tu) . ececece. (thanks auntie jasmin n sha!). i felt like i do not know how to take compliments. a good friends used to notice these as i seem somewhat blur on how to react when ppl said nice things to you. sape la yg x ske kn puji. cuma kadang tu mmg blur aje memanjang.. - ___-" i think i know why...i supposed it is true..
but one thing is, no one is truly evil nor absolute angel. so theres always a good thing in each one of us. klu kte jumpe sesuatu perkara yg baik dlm diri seorg yg selalu dianggap jahat, pasti menarik kan. like devil in disguise or vice versa. concentr8 on the good things of ppl.it will shines through. eksperimen ni dh di jalankan.. hipotesis dia di terima. seyes!

Love is mushy; science is hard

but i do like things to be hard facts. its either black or white. no gray matter. but as we grow, we created our own meaning of love. though it might not last, a new definition will be created once it has reconcile a new found love. it is a gambling game.you either win with colors or failed with hurt. but not until you've found the one, the searching is endless. its not about finding the perfect one but its seeing the imperfect one perfectly. get rid of those checklist you've got.just get out there and give out love. someone out there who's perfect enough will notice it. kinda hard to be put in practice when the word seems so idealistic. but if you see other people journey of love, and how fate bind them together, don't you ever wonder the strength that they have to reach their destiny. energy that we ourselves can never imagine could have. but its possible. the curiosity that makes man keep on searching, for something that cannot be seen but only felt seems pointless but once you found it, the contented feeling is indescribable. i admitted of failure myself. but thats how its going to happen. think about the failure as a practice ( optimistic talking here) or, if you failed, vanish all evidence that you'd tried ( that's egoistic talking). other way, just don't get stuck in the middle. life are to be changed or accepted. if it cannot be accepted than change it! if you neither change it nor accept it, you'll be depress. its no fun being depress. life is too short to be sad. gotta get up honey! someones waiting for you out there =)

p/s: “Search yourself, and you will find Allah”

more than a week of hiatus.. not that i'm busy. its just that i'm enjoying much of the reality life compare to the virtual one.but i did some blog hopping here and there...how are things? hmm let me see.. work---> bad- good-hell-heaven ( yeah.. its so mood swing-like), life--> not bad, i just got a hand on good books to read. but i just thought that i want to trash that rental bookstore that i found in the earlier post.. it seems that most of the book there are almost 90% romance novel and half of it are judith mcnaught-kinda-type. blurghhhh...

and

i just learnt 1 lesson.

dont take what is not yours and treat people the way you want to be treated.if you take what is not yours, Allah swt will took away more from what you have.

the good: i should have stand by the money i owe her first thing after i got my pay check

the evil: u can always do it later, tomorrow even after 2-3 years. shes rich, she wont even remember u owe her money.

the good: no.no.. it is always in your belives not to take what it is not your. u already seen the consequences.

but i did return the money and yeah its true she forgot that i owed her money and no, i dont regret but was actually sooo grateful that i did because just after that moment, i receive a check more than twice the amount that i owed her..it came in by surprise..hell yeah ( supposedly heaven)...woohoo...

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”

jiwa kena kental.
i didn't know it was this hard.
its better die trying to be good than giving up yourself.

p/s: losing material things doesn't affect me. losing faith does.

imagine while you are sleeping. very soundly. and all of sudden some one tried to wake you up. shaking you up like in a hurry. and when you wake up there was two men wearing a mask staring at you fiercely. forcing you to give up your valuable things while holding a chopper on to your neck. and without hesitation you just surrender your things which you thought is less valuable compare to your own life..imagine how terrified you were during that intense moment... your life is at the hands of robber.. its either you gave in or die.

i already forgotten the feeling years back. quite ok at handling the situation.

not until recently.

a couple of house nearby got burglar.

the creepiness sneaks in yet again.

*sigh

yet again

the feeling of being vulnerable

-your shoulder feels very light, as if your hand are losing grip from the shoulder socket.
-weird
-those butterflies. urgh
-but it feels right

spiritual growth is about letting yourself free and being vulnerable to whats coming.
i'm letting myself being vulnerable.yet again.

“No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky.”

two days ago, as i was walking back from the office, theres this couple of boys loitering at the Carrefour staircase wandering around doing nothing. As I pass by them, they asked me ' Kak ade singgit?' their skinny feature and the face like u haven't ate anything for a day made me took my purse out.. but sadly, i'm out of small change at that time. I said sorry to them and walk away with guilt.. mende2 camni mmg la aku cpt beno kesian..haih...naluri keibuan la konon2nye..hehhehhe.

yesterday, i saw the same kids again, with the previous guilt i had, i double the amount of money they asked.. xpe tu utk semlm x terbagi..

those kids reminds me of a relatives of mine who sort of the black sheep of the family. he ran out of his house couple of times mixing with the wrong group but not to severe like doing drugs or something. but for me it seems quite a serious matter. when asked about why he ran out of the house, he simply said 'Nak bebas'. i just when what the efff man..you are young and and yet to know the real world and you are demanding a freedom!! hah!. an ultimate freedom does not exist in the world young boy!

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.”

So, if you choose this kinda 'freedom' you say you want. for all you know you are choosing to prison yourself forever. but i dont think its totally his fault. There are reasons while children these days chose the 'freedom' = lack of attention and love from the parents. It is a common problem faced by many parents especially from the middle class where both parent are working et cetera2 while neglecting their childrens needs. you can never blame the parents totally because what they are doing now is for the best of their children. But sometimes things can go out of balance. Love and attention is replaced by materials. an easy solution w/o thinking the consequences. raising a children is like chewing on pebbles...i refuse to elaborate since i'm not in their shoes.

ok..i sound like a psychologist plak dah..lin said i read too much books..and no, i'm not an alpha female..hahaha

i'm out of word to describe things lately. picture does say a thousand words.tough times.

May day! May day!

its already May,how time flies. only during working life that i realized how precious time is..its all about time you know. ' if u cant get this done by today you are out', 'I want it done now'....tomorrow can't wait....bla bla bla... procrastinate is not and answer anymore.. the problem won't be solve by itself unless you face it.if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem. but sometimes ppl are being neurotic u know. i admit being 1 sumtime. it is so confusing. it is so hard to pin point what is your responsibilities. sometimes you think it is yours, but other ppl had done it but when no ones doing it you are ought to blame.. life is difficult- one of the greatest truth on earth. accept it and you'll be ok... I'm going through life changes internally/spiritually and it is exciting yet exhausting.... its better doing it now rather than never at all.

membesar dan melebar

a saying, growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

yeah.

i grew up but not fully

though i reluctant to do so.

who want to leave being carefree with no responsibility

where you don't need to care about the world issues?

but its harder when got u stuck in the middle.

with face old enough to become a parent

but still behave like a child

calling mummy to solve little problems.

don't go against the nature

go with the flow

its best for the soul

but growing up is never easy.

You hold on to things that were.

You wonder what's to come.

But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been,

and look ahead to what would be.

Other days.

New days.

Days to come.

The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older.

We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.

stop at red.

if only the red sign existed in our daily life routine.
not only on the road.
like for instance when we over do something too much.
the red light will appear ' alert mursyidah you are going overboard'!!
yeah.. so like everyone is living in wasatiah aka moderately.
yellow= prepare to end what your are doing
red= stop it!
green= now go.


I found something on the net about handling tough times.... mohon kebenaran ye En. Gabby, saya pinjam article anda!!

How to Stay Motivated During Tough Times

By Gabriel, Ehow expert Rivera, eHow Editor

Step1

Be more determined than ever because of your rejections. Your rejections will make your stronger, and this will give you every reason to work harder.

Step2

Read motivational quotes. By doing this, the inspirational quotes are embedded in your mind.

Step3

Watch an inspirational movie. This will inspire you to take matters into your own hands and do what you have to do.

Step4

Talk to other successful people. By hearing their experiences, you will be surprised to know that they went through the same experiences you are going through.

“Well, me don't swim too tough so me don't go in the water too deep.”~ Bob Marley

life saver

you know what can save lives?

the truth.

it can save others as well as you.

so, admit your mistake.

say no lie.

no matter how white it is.

because,

some people are color blind.

if you tell the truth,

you don't have to remember anything

and,

you never find yourself until you face the truth

aku.gembira.thanks.to.you.my.friends.

'salam n morning ya'll...

i had fun at dinner last night. now i know why i felt dreadful for the past few weeks. because i haven't been hanging out to see my friends for a while. I'm glad to those familiar faces again. kenapa ye aku rase cam hampeh.oh ye. because of the 2.8 million x 70 housing projects. plus, personal matter that keep me at home sleeping the problems away. but still it stays. tapi x pe.past is past. yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift and i'm going to enjoy my gift.

good day.